5 Amazing Parenting Tips from Beyoncé
"I WANT [MY SON] TO KNOW THAT HE CAN BE STRONG AND BRAVE BUT THAT HE CAN ALSO BE SENSITIVE AND KIND."
Despite being one of the most famous celebrities in the world, Beyoncé is notorious for rarely giving interviews. Perhaps that's why her diehard fans could barely contain themselves when Vogue posted an intimate article that Queen Bey herself wrote for their September issue. In the revealing piece, the 36-year-old pop star opened up about learning how to love her body following a difficult pregnancy:
After the birth of my first child [Blue Ivy Carter], I believed in the things society said about how my body should look. I put pressure on myself to lose all the baby weight in three months, and scheduled a small tour to assure I would do it…After the twins, I approached things very differently.I was 218 pounds the day I gave birth to Rumi and Sir. I was swollen from toxemia and had been on bed rest for over a month. My health and my babies' health were in danger, so I had an emergency C-section. We spent many weeks in the NICU…After the C-section, my core felt different. It had been major surgery. Some of your organs are shifted temporarily, and in rare cases, removed temporarily during delivery. I am not sure everyone understands that. I needed time to heal, to recover. During my recovery, I gave myself self-love and self-care, and I embraced being curvier. I accepted what my body wanted to be.
While she went vegan temporarily and swore of sugar, coffee, and alcohol to get back in shape, she was also patient with herself and enjoyed her curves. To this day, she swears she has a "mommy pouch" that she's in no rush to get rid of. This is the kind of self-love and acceptance that she wants to pass on to her three children.
Oh, and speaking of parenting, Queen Bey dropped several great parenting secrets, as well. So read on, because we've compiled them all right here. And for more celebrity guidance on parenthood, check out James Marsden's Advice for Living Your Best Life.
Research Your Ancestry
"I come from a lineage of broken male-female relationships, abuse of power, and mistrust," she wrote. "Only when I saw that clearly was I able to resolve those conflicts in my own relationship." To dig deep into her own past, she researched her ancestry and found out that she comes from a slave owner who fell in love with and married a slave. The revelation took some time to process but, once she did, she realized this was "why God blessed me with my twins. Male and female energy was able to coexist and grow in my blood for the first time." She now believes that, having made peace with her ancestral past, she will be able to "break the generational curses in my family [so] that my children will have less complicated lives."
Create a World Where They Can See Themselves
Beyoncé spends much of the interview talking about how important it is for her to open the door for previously marginalized groups. As such, her Vogue cover shoot was the first ever done by an African-American photographer, Tyler Mitchell. Her emphasis on diversity is not just for the benefit of other African-Americans, but also for her children.
"My mother taught me the importance not just of being seen but of seeing myself," she wrote. "As the mother of two girls, it's important to me that they see themselves too—in books, films, and on runways. It's important to me that they see themselves as CEOs, as bosses, and that they know they can write the script for their own lives—that they can speak their minds and they have no ceiling."
Give Them Freedom
Beyoncé also writes poetically of the importance of freedom, of the fact that she is not unhappy unless she is free and constantly "improving, evolving, moving forward, inspiring, teaching, and learning." It's a freedom that she wishes to pass onto her children.
"They don't have to be a certain type or fit into a specific category. They don't have to be politically correct, as long as they're authentic, respectful, compassionate, and empathetic. They can explore any religion, fall in love with any race, and love who they want to love."
Teach Them the Power of Their Own Existence
In one particularly beautiful passage, Beyoncé says that she has "experienced betrayals and heartbreaks in many forms," and that she's had "disappointments in business partnerships as well as personal ones," which have left her "feeling neglected, lost, and vulnerable." But she learned how to "laugh and cry and grow" through it all, so that now she feels "so much more beautiful, so much sexier, so much more interesting" and "so much more powerful" than ever before. She wants her kids to recognize this power in themselves.
"I hope to teach my son not to fall victim to what the internet says he should be or how he should love. I want to create better representations for him so he is allowed to reach his full potential as a man, and to teach him that the real magic he possesses in the world is the power to affirm his own existence."
Raise a Man Who Is Emotionally Intelligent
In today's society, there's a lot of focus on the fact that we need to do away with the harmful notion that men need to bottle up their feelings, and raise men who are conscientious, expressive, and emotionally aware. Beyoncé is fully on board with this.
"I want [my son] to know that he can be strong and brave but that he can also be sensitive and kind. I want my son to have a high emotional IQ where he is free to be caring, truthful, and honest. It's everything a woman wants in a man, and yet we don't teach it to our boys."
For more personal testimonies from men who aren't afraid to show their vulnerable side, check out How Dwayne Johnson Overcame His Crippling Depression.
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