90 Silly Star Wars Jokes That Are Actually Hilarious

THESE ONE-LINERS ARE SIDE-SPLITTING FOR BOTH SIDES OF THE FORCE!

Have you heard any good Star Wars jokes lately? If not, you may have been looking in Alderaan places! But don't worry, you've finally come to the right one. Whether you've just watched the original trilogy or you're an obsessive fan who's seen all of the Star Wars films at least 20 times, there's something irresistible about a good Star Wars joke. There's a shared language in the movies, a common shorthand that we can all relate to. To that end, here are 90 of our favorite jokes about the Star Wars universe. When you share them with others, just make sure you're not on the Millennium Falcon—or the ship might crack up!

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Funny Star Wars Jokes You Didn't Know You Needed
Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures
Why did Episodes 4, 5, and 6 come out before 1, 2, and 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.
How does Wicket get around Endor? Ewoks.
What does a Star Destroyer wear to a wedding? Bow ties, of course.
Why is a gossip website like the Imperial Fleet? They're both full of Star Destroyers.
Why is Yoda such a good gardener? Because he has a green thumb.
What is Jabba the Hutt's middle name? The.
What side of an Ewok has the most hair? The outside.
How do Tusken Raiders cheat on their taxes? They always single file, to hide their numbers.
Which Star Wars character works at a restaurant? Darth Waiter.
What time is it when an AT-AT steps on your chronometer? Time to get a new chronometer.
Why are Death Star pilots fed up with space battles? Because they always end up in a TIE.
What's a Rebel's favorite TV talent show? X-Wing Factor.
Is BB hungry? No, BB-8.
Have you tried the gluten-free Wookiee treats? No, but I heard they're a little Chewie.
Why was the droid angry? Because people kept pushing its buttons.
What did Han Solo say to the waiter who recommended the haddock? "Never sell me the cods!"
Hilarious Star Wars Puns
Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures
What's the internal temperature of a Tauntaun? Lukewarm.
Which Star Wars character lives in Florida? Orlando Calrissian.
What kind of car does a Jedi drive? A toy Yoda.
What do you call it when only one Star Wars character gives you a round of applause? A Hand Solo.
What do you need to reroute droids? R2-Detour.
What do you call an invisible droid? C-through-PO.
How do you unlock doors on Kashyyyk? With a woo-key.
What do you call a pirate droid? Arr-2 D2.
Which program do Jedi use to open PDF files? Adobe-Wan Kenobi.
How did they get between floors on the Death Star? In the ele-Vader.
What's a baseball player's least favorite Star Wars movie? The Umpire Strikes Back.
Which Star Wars character travels around the world? Globe-iwan Kenobi.
How do Ewoks communicate over long distances? With Ewokie Talkies.
Which Jedi became a rock star? Bon Jovi-Wan Kenobi.
What do you get if you mix a bounty hunter with a tropical fruit? Mango Fett.
Where do Gungans store their fruit preserves? Jar-Jars.
What do you call five Siths piled on top of a lightsaber? A Sith-kebab.
What kind of spaceship did Luke fly in grade school? An ABC-Wing.
What's the name of Obi-Wan's twin brother? Obi-Also.
What do you call an eel that loves the new Star Wars trilogy? A more-Rey eel.

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Darth Vader Jokes
Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures
What position does Darth Vader play in baseball? The Umpire.
Why was Darth Vader referred to as Lord Vader? Because calling him Master Vader made all the Stormtroopers giggle.
What did Darth Vader say to the Emperor at the Star Wars auction? "What is thy bidding, my master?"
What goes, "Ha, ha, ha, haaaa… AGGGHHHH! Thump"? An Imperial Officer laughing at Darth Vader.
What did Darth Vader say when he walked into a vegetarian restaurant? "I find your lack of steak disturbing."
How did Darth Vader know what Luke was getting for his birthday? He felt his presents.
What was the name of Darth Vader's sister? Ella Vader.
What did Darth Vader's teacher say when he was disrupting her class? "Sith down and be quiet."
How did Darth Vader cheat at poker? He kept altering the deal.
How does Darth Vader like his toast? On the Dark Side.
Why was Darth Vader bad at sports? He always choked.
Princess Leia Jokes
Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures
What did Leia's adoptive parents say when she used to sleepwalk as a child? "Uh-oh, it's the rise of Skywalker."
Why did Princess Leia date so many guys before she found Han? She was looking for love in Alderaan places.
What did Rey say when she met Leia? "Chewie wants a hug, too."
Who did Princess Leia's hair? Darth Braider.
What does Leia say when she needs help? "I think I could use a Han here."
What did Han Solo change his name to after he married Leia? Han Duet.
Why did Princess Leia send a distress call to Francis? Because he was her only Pope.
Why did Han Solo wait to ask Princess Leia to marry him? He didn't want to force it.
Where does Princess Leia shop for Father's Day? At the Darth Maul.
Why does Princess Leia keep her hair tied up in buns? So it doesn't Hang Solow.
What did Princess Leia and Han Solo name their other kid? Guitar Solo.
What do you call a rebel princess who only shops at Whole Foods? Leia Organic.

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Skywalker Jokes
Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures
Where did Luke get his bionic hand? At the second-hand store.
What did the dentist say to Luke Skywalker? "May the floss be with you."
How long has Anakin Skywalker been evil? Since the Sith Grade.
What was Luke's secret codename before he got his mechanical limb? Hand Solo.
What did Yoda say to Anakin on his wedding day? "May divorce be with you."
What did Obi-Wan say at the rodeo? "Use the horse, Luke!"
Why is Luke Skywalker always invited to a picnic? He brings the forks.
What do you call a nervous Jedi? Panicking Skywalker.
Why did Darth Vader throw steaks at Luke Skywalker? So he could meat his destiny.
Why did Anakin Skywalker cross the road? To get to the Dark Side.
Why didn't any of Luke Skywalker's marriages last? He always followed Obi-Wan's advice: "Use divorce, Luke."
Long Star Wars Jokes
Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures
Luke and Obi-Wan walk into a Chinese restaurant. Ten minutes into the meal, Luke's still having trouble with the chopsticks, dropping food everywhere. Obi-Wan finally snaps, "Use the forks, Luke."
Stormtroopers in quarantine are like, "I miss people." I'm not too sympathetic. They always miss people.
Luke walks into the Mos Eisley cantina, cradling a slab of dirt in his arms. "What'll it be?" asks the barman. "A pint for me, and one for the road."
Lando Calrissian walks into a bar, orders a drink, and sits down at a table in the corner. The bartender jerks his thumb at him and says, "Lando's a great pilot now, but I remember when they used to call that guy Crasho."
Where does Kylo Ren get his creepy black clothes? From his closet? No. I mean where does Kylo Ren buy his clothes? From the mall! I mean, have you seen how much Kylo Ren stuff they have there right now?
My wife says she's leaving me because of my obsession with Star Wars. I said, "Please don't go, honey. You're the Obi-Wan for me."
An Ewok strolls into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'll have a whisky and… soda." The bartender says, "Sure thing, but why the little pause?" "Dunno," says the Ewok. "I've had them all my life."
The Star Wars text crawl walks into a bar. "Get outta my pub!" the bartender yells. "We don't serve your type here."
Warning: Star Wars spoilers! Voosh voosh pew pew pew voosh voosh pew pew voosh force choke voosh pew pew pew.
A clone trooper walks into a pub and asks the barman, "Hey, have you seen my brother?" "I dunno," says the barman. "What does he look like?"
The Death Star's shield generator walks into a bar. The bartender scowls and says, "All right pal, I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

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Amazing One-Liners
Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures
Jabba the Hut is so fat, Obi-Wan Kenobi took a closer look and said, "That's no moon."
Star Wars fans don't smoke cigarettes after sex; they chew 'bacca.
So my friend decided to get a face tattoo of her favorite Star Wars character… You should've seen the Luke on her face.
I asked my wife to dress up as a bounty hunter from Star Wars because I have a Boba fetish.
I found out I was colorblind by watching Star Wars because I couldn't see the green screen.
Oh, sure everyone loves Star Wars on May 4th… Until you tell your nephew you're his father.
I went to a sale at the Maul because everything was half off.
Any space smuggler will tell you, never try the blue milk at the Mos Eisley cantina… It will give you the Kessel runs for 12 parsecs.
Trying to come up with jokes about Star Wars is difficult; sometimes they seem a bit too Forced.
Wrapping Up

That's it for our list of Star Wars jokes. Be sure to check back with us soon for more funny material. You can also sign up for our newsletter so you don't miss out on what's coming next!

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