183 Jokes for Kids That Provide Good, Clean Fun
THESE JOKES FOR KIDS PROVIDE PG FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY.
There's a lot that goes into a joke, but part of the formula is knowing your audience. The best jokes for kids are clean, engaging, and maybe a little corny. Don't get us wrong—we love more adult jokes, but there's a time and place for that sort of entertainment. The good news is that these quips for kids carry a lot of variety. You can share anything from a classic knock-knock joke to the cringiest dad joke with your youngsters. Below, we've collected some of the best kids' jokes around. Because no matter where you are or what you're doing, there's always time for a laugh.
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183 Silly Jokes For Kids
Read on for our list of the best jokes for kids. We've broken this down into categories to make things even easier to navigate. By the time you get to the end, you'll be sure to have the whole family in stitches.
Animal Jokes the Kids Will Love
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How do you make an octopus laugh? With ten-tickles!
Why couldn't the pony sing a lullaby? She was a little horse!
Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? Because she was stuffed!
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm!
Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because the chicken wasn't born yet!
Where do polar bears keep their money? In a snow bank!
What did the mama cow say to the baby cow? It's pasture bedtime!
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bull-dozer!
What type of snake do you find on a car? A windshield viper!
Why don't leopards like to play hide-and-seek? Because they're always spotted!
What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador!
What does an evil hen lay? Deviled eggs!
What's a baby bear with no teeth called? A gummy bear!
What do you call a rabbit with lice? Bugs bunny!
What type of bird works at a construction site? A crane!
What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!
What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dino-snore!
What do you call a massive pile of cats? A meown-tain!
What does a fish say after voicing its opinion? Let minnow your thoughts!
What do you call a team of rabbits walking backward? A receding hare line!
Where do baby cats learn to swim? In the kitty pool!
What do you call an alligator that solves mysteries? An investigator!
What's worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing taxis!
What's a snake's favorite subject in school? Hisssssstory!
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be called bay-gulls!
What is a bird's favorite type of math? Owl-gebra!
What did the Dalmatian say after lunch? That hit the spot!
Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use a honeycomb!
What animal always shows up to the baseball game? A bat!
Why aren't dogs good dancers? Because they have two left feet!
Why wouldn't the shrimp share his fortune? Because he was being a little shellfish!
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Amazing Knock-Knock Jokes for Kids
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Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Don't cry, it's just a joke!
Knock, knock. Who's there? Tank. Tank who? You're welcome!
Knock, knock. Who's there? Figs. Figs who? Figs the doorbell, it's not working!
Knock, knock. Who's there? Annie. Annie who? Annie thing you can do, I can do better!
Knock, knock. Who's there? Honey bee. Honey bee who? Honey bee a dear and get that for me?
Knock, knock. Who's there? An interrupting cow. An interrupt— MOO!
Knock, knock. Who's there? Snow. Snow who? Snow use. The joke is over!
Knock, knock. Who's there? Dozen. Dozen who? Dozen anyone want to let me in?
Knock, knock. Who's there? Ice cream. Ice cream who? ICE CREAM SO YOU CAN HEAR ME!
Knock, knock. Who's there? A little old lady. A little old lady who? How cool! I didn't know you could yodel!
Knock, knock. Who's there? Shore. Shore who? Shore hope you like bad jokes!
Knock, knock. Who's there? Scold. Scold who? Scold outside, let me in!
Knock, knock. Who's there? Dishes. Dishes who? Dishes your mother, open up!
Knock, knock. Who's there? Isabel. Isabel who? Isabel not working?
Knock, knock. Who's there? Weirdo. Weirdo who? Weirdo you think you're going?
Knock, knock. Who's there? Icy. Icy who? Icy you in there!
Knock, knock. Who's there? Nana. Nana who? Nana your business!
Knock, knock. Who's there? Beets. Beets who? Beets me!
Knock, knock. Who's there? Witches. Witches who? Witches the best way out of this neighborhood!?
Knock, knock. Who's there? Barbie. Barbie who? Barbie-que chicken is my favorite!
Knock, knock. Who's there? Anita. Anita who? Anita use the bathroom, please open the door!
Knock, knock. Who's there? Spell. Spell who? Sure, W-H-O!
Knock, knock. Who's there? Tuna. Tuna who? Tuna piano if it sounds off-key!
Knock, knock. Who's there? Beak. Beak who? Beak careful, that pan is hot!
Knock, knock. Who's there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you sooooo much!
Knock, knock. Who's there? Sue. Sue who? Sue-prize! Happy birthday!
Knock, knock. Who's there? Venice. Venice who? Venice your dad coming home?
Knock, knock. Who's there? Alpaca. Alpaca who? Alpaca the food, you grab the drinks!
Knock, knock. Who's there? Yukon. Yukon who? Yukon say that again!
Knock, knock. Who's there? Kenya. Kenya who? Kenya stop with the jokes already?
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Funny Jokes for 10-Year Olds
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What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree!
What is a tornado's favorite game? Twister!
Why do teenagers travel in groups of threes and fives? Because they can't even!
What vehicle has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck!
How do you stop an astronaut's baby from crying? You rocket!
How do you speak to a giant? Use big words!
Why didn't the farmer's son study medicine? Because he wanted to go into a different field?
Why do we tell actors to "break a leg"? Because every play has a cast!
Why did the kid throw a clock out the window? To see time fly!
What did one plate say to the other plate? Dinner is on me!
When is a door not a door? When it's ajar!
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make everything up!
What kind of water can't freeze? Hot water!
Why is grass so dangerous? Because it's full of blades!
Why did the tomato start blushing? Because it saw the salad dressing!
What building contains the most stories? The library!
What did the traffic light say to the truck? Don't look, I'm changing!
What's really loud, really fast, and fun to munch on? A rocket chip!
What is a vampire's favorite fruit? A blood orange!
Why do eyeshadow, lipstick, and mascara never stay mad at each other? Because they always make-up!
Why did everyone think the vampire was sick? Because he was always coffin!
Where do werewolves buy electronics? Beast Buy!
What planet is the best singer? Nep-tune!
Why isn't the teenager allowed back online without a license? He crashed the computer!
What kind of room doesn't have any doors? A mushroom!
What happens when a grape gets run over while crossing the street? A traffic jam!
What did one wall say to the other? I'll meet you at the corner!
Why wasn't Cinderella picked to be on the soccer team? Because she's always running from the ball!
What tool do mathematicians use most? Multi-pliers!
Why are sports arenas always so cold? Because they're filled with fans!
Why are spiders so smart? Because they know how to find everything on the web!
What did the fisherman say to the magician? "Pick a cod, any cod!"
How does the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it!
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The Best Jokes for 5-Year-Olds
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Why should you never give Elsa a balloon? Because she'll let it go!
How do you make a tissue dance? Put some boogie in it!
What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
Where do elephants keep their clothes? In their trunks!
What letter is always wet? The C!
What do kittens like to eat? Mice cream!
What should you do if you get peanut butter on your door? Use a door jam!
What do you get when you shake a cow? A milkshake!
Do you want to hear a joke about pizza? Nah, I shouldn't say it… it's too cheesy!
What kind of witch is always at the beach? A sand-witch!
What do you call a guy laying on your doorstep? Matt!
What's Mommy and Daddy's favorite ride at the carnival? A married-go-round!
What did the mommy tomato say to the baby tomato? C'mon, ketchup!
Why did the bee get married? Because she found her honey!
What do you call a monkey with bananas in his ears? Anything you want, he can't hear you!
What goes, "tick, woof, tick, woof"? A watchdog!
What should you do when a dinosaur sneezes? Get out of the way… fast!
How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut!
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh!
What do you call a train that keeps sneezing? Achoo-choo train!
Why do bees hum? Because they forgot the words!
What do you call a skunk who files a helicopter? A smelly-copter!
Why did Mickey Mouse go to space? To find Pluto!
What did one snowman say to the other? "Do you smell carrots?"
Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because he wasn't peeling well!
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Corny Jokes for Kids
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What musical instrument is found in the bathroom? A tuba toothpaste!
Why are ghosts such bad liars? Because you can see right through them!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
Why did the lawyer show up in nothing but his underwear? Because he forgot his lawsuit!
Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he neverlands!
What time of year are people most likely to hurt themselves? In the fall!
What kind of ball should not be thrown, caught, kicked, or dribbled? An eyeball!
What chemical element do soccer players prefer? Gooooooooooooold!
What did one volcano say to the other? I lava you!
What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? "Where's pop corn?"
How much does it cost a pirate to get his ears pierced? Around a buck an ear!
Why did the cracker go to the doctor? Because it felt crummy!
Why did the policeman go play baseball? He wanted a catch!
What kinds of keys are always extra sweet? Cookies!
What do you call a funny mountain? Hill-arious!
What's a pirate's favorite letter? Arrrrrrrr!
What did the finger say to the thumb? "I'm in glove with you!"
Where do dishes go dancing? The dish-go!
What do storm clouds wear under their jackets? Thunderwear!
How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch!
What's a tree's favorite beverage? Root beer!
What accessory does rain always want around? A rainbow!
What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you? Nacho cheese!
Where do daffodils sleep at night? In their flowerbeds!
What type of bread do ballerinas like most? Buns!
What kind of dance are frogs best at? Hip hop!
Why can't Monday pick up Saturday? Because it's a weak day!
Why was the politician out of breath? He was running for office!
Where did the skeleton go when doing errands? The body shop!
A bunch of princesses signed up for a race—who won? Rapunzel, but only by a hair!
What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry!
What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between us, something smells!
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Hilarious Kids' Jokes About School
Shutterstock / Roman Samborskyi
Why did the students get so upset when the math teacher called them average? Because it was a mean thing to say!
What is a computer's favorite snack? Computer chips!
Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake!
What is a witch's favorite subject in school? Spelling!
What is your math teacher's favorite dessert? Pi!
Why is the math book sad? Because it has so many problems!
Why did the kid cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
Why was the broom late for class? Because it over swept!
Why did the kid bring a ladder to class? Because she wanted to go to high school!
Where can you learn how to make a banana split? Sundae school!
If a teacher has three oranges in one hand and four peaches in the other hand, what do they have altogether? Huge hands!
Why did the fastest cat get kicked out of class? Because he was a cheetah!
What winter sport does your math teacher enjoy? Figure skating!
Why did the teacher need to wear sunglasses during class? Because her students were so bright!
Why did the quarterback sign up for such challenging classes? Because he knows how to pass!
Did you hear about those students who are afraid of negative numbers? They'll stop at nothing to avoid them!
What do elves learn in school? The elf-abet!
How do squids get to school? They take an octobus!
How did the beauty school student do on her manicure test? She nailed it!
Why might a music teacher need a ladder? To reach the high notes!
"How much did you learn at school today, son?" "Not enough dad, they say I have to go back tomorrow."
How much do math teachers eat? They eat three square meals a day!
How do you get straight A's? By using a ruler!
What's big and yellow that comes every morning to make Mom's day better? A school bus!
Why didn't the sun go to college? Because it already has a million degrees!
How do bees get to school? They take the school buzz!
What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A teacher will tell you, "Spit out that gum," while a train says, "Chew! Chew!"
Why did the echo get detention? It kept talking back!
Where do kids in New York City learn their multiplication tables? Times Square!
What kind of school do surfers attend? Boarding school!
Why did the teacher marry the janitor? Because he swept her off her feet!
What do you put on a book when it's cold? A jacket!