103 Funny Jokes So Silly They're Guaranteed to Brighten Your Day
LAUGHTER REALLY IS THE BEST MEDICINE.
Funny jokes come in all shapes and sizes. There are intellectual jokes. There are dad jokes. And, there's always the occasional knock-knock joke to toss out. But above all, there are silly jokes. You know the ones: A friend asks you a nonsensical question (perhaps, "Why did the man fall in the well?"). You say, "I don't know." And they hit you with the punchline ("Because he didn't see that well," in this case). And then you both laugh hysterically. Because let's face it, no matter how bad the joke was, it was also funny. And you know what? It definitely brightened your day. Below, we've rounded up the 103 funniest jokes that are so silly they're practically sunshine.
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Funny Jokes for the Whole Family
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Why did the baby skeleton cross the road? Because her mummy was on the other side!
Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed!
What do you call a computer that sings? A-Dell!
What's the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty!
What can't you run through a campground? You can only ran, because it's past tents!
How do you throw a space party? You planet!
Where do hamburgers go dancing? The meat-ball!
Did you hear about corduroy pillows? They're making head lines!
What did one plate say to the other? "Lunch is on me!"
Where do you learn how to make banana splits? At sundae school!
Why did the belt get arrested? He held up a pair of pants!
What kind of shoes do spies wear? Sneak-ers!
Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
What can you serve but never eat? A volleyball!
What's the difference between a guitar and a fish? You can't tuna fish!
What can you find at very small beaches? Microwaves!
Did you hear about the angry pancake? He just flipped!
How do you talk to a fish? You drop him a line!
Did you hear about the potato detective? He got to the root of every case!
What types of clothes does a house wear? Address!
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? "Supplies!"
How much does a pirate pay for corn? A buccaneer!
Why didn't the bike want to stand? Because he was too tired!
What types of magazines do cows read? Cattle-logs!
Two muffins are baking in an oven. One of them looks at the other and says, "Phew, it's getting hot in here!" The other looks back and says, "Ack! A talking muffin!"
Why did the mouse fall in the well? Because he couldn't see that well!
Why do bees have sticky hair? They only use honeycombs!
What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho cheese!
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Corny Jokes Adults Will Love
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question? Get it?
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
My uncle named his dogs Timex and Rolex. They're his watch dogs!
What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum? A meltdown!
What do you call a sad cup of coffee? Depresso!
What do you call a blind dinosaur? A "Do-you-think-he-saw-us"!
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? The teacher woke him up!
Why did the pig go into the kitchen? He felt like bacon!
What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter!
My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down!
What do you call a ghost's mother and father? Transparents!
What happened to the frog that parked in the no-standing zone? He got toad!
What are bald sea captains most worried about? Cap sizes!
What did the duck say to the bartender? "Put it on my bill!"
Why did the cookie cry? Because he was a wafer so long!
What did the mother lion say to her cub before dinner? "Shall we prey?"
What do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bugs Bunny!
What did the pirate say when he turned 80? "Aye matey!"
If you're an American when you go into a bathroom and an American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom? European!
What did the full glass say to the empty glass? "You look drunk!"
How do you stop an astronaut's baby from crying? You rocket!
What do lawyers wear to court? Lawsuits!
How did the barber win the race? He knew a shortcut!
What did Delaware? A New Jersey!
Which is faster, hot or cold? Hot, because you can catch cold!
What's the best way to watch a fishing tournament? Live stream!
What do you call a guy who never farts in public? A private tutor!
What did the left eye say to the right eye? "Between us, something smells!"
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was out standing in his field!
Why don't we see elephants hiding in trees? Because they're really good at it!
Why was the football coach yelling at the vending machine? Because he wanted his quarter back!
Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He just couldn't see himself doing it!
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Funny Dad Jokes
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
Is it inappropriate to tell a "dad joke" if you're not a dad? Yes, it's a faux pa!
What's a cow's favorite place to go? The mooo-vies!
Why can't a group of cats get together to play cards? There are too many cheetahs!
What musical instrument is found in the bathroom? A tuba toothpaste!
What do you call a hippie's wife? A Mississippi!
Can February March? No, but April May!
Did you hear about that new broom? It's sweeping the nation!
My new thesaurus is horrible! Not only that, but it's horrible!
What do you do if you see a spaceman? Park in it, man!
Why do oranges wear sunscreen? So they don't peel!
How did the student feel when he learned about electricity? Totally shocked!
What is a tornado's favorite game to play? Twister!
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!
What animal would love to go see a baseball game? A bat!
Where do polar bears keep their money? In a snowbank!
When is a door not a door? When it's ajar!
What did the mama cow say to the calf? "It's pasture bedtime!"
Where did the polar bear go to cast his vote? The North Poll!
Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because the chicken wasn't born yet!
Why do cows have hooves and not feet? Because they lactose!
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Best Jokes for Kids
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Why did the student eat his homework on his birthday? Because he heard it was a piece of cake!
How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it!
Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? Because she was already stuffed!
Why did the gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken's foot!
What do you call a toothless bear? A gummy bear!
What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!
How do you make an octopus laugh? With ten tickles!
Why did the turkey cross the road? To show he wasn't chicken!
What's a dog's favorite toy? A funny bone!
How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch!
Where do baby cats learn to swim? The kitty pool!
Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he Neverlands!
What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck!
What's a pirate's favorite letter? Arrrrr!
Why did the woman take a ketchup bottle outside when it was raining? Because it was raining cats and hot dogs!
What is a computer's favorite snack? Computer chips!
What happened when the grape crossed the road? There was a traffic jam!
What's a cat's favorite color? Purrr-ple!
What's smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee!
What do you call an angry carrot? A steamed veggie!
What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk!
What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry!
That's it for our list of funny jokes! Be sure to check back with us soon for even more fun. You can also sign up for our newsletter so you don't miss out.